Funeral A wake was held for Rhys at the Hays Funeral Home, 56 Main St., Northborough on Monday the 2nd of June 2003 between the hours of 4 and 8 pm. Over a thousand people attended. The funeral home website is:  http://www.haysfuneralhome.com The Wake. Tonight I whispered "Nos Dah" to my Rhys for the last time. It's Welsh for good night and I have said it every night for eighteen years. Over a thousand people came to say goodbye to our Rhys tonight. Everyone was wonderfull, especially the kids that came around six or seven times to see our Rhys. Several of you tucked notes into Rhys' hands or gave them to us for him. We want you to know that they will be buried with Rhys and will always be with him. If you feel that you want them to be read by others please repeat them in the guestbook - otherwise they will remain with you and Rhys forever. We did read one - it was your's Richard. Perhaps that's what helped us decide to keep them all secret - for ever :) Tomorrow will be a bright sunny day. You will see the shimmering ocean, you will see true tranquility, and you will see beauty. Our Rhys will be buried with the Hacky Sack that he wowed the audience with in Venice Italy last month, with a brand new paintbrush, a new pencil, with his unfinished book, with some earth from Wales that his cousin brought with her, with things from his dearest friends, and with a little note from us in his inslde pocket. Nos Dah my Rhys.   Historical Society Building The Northborough Historical Society and Museum building next door to the funeral home was open for the wake from 3:00 pm until the last kid left at about 8:00 pm. Some of Rhys' art, pottery, poems and pictures were displayed for the kids to remember Rhys by. When the kids arrived, Celine Dion was being played. The kids said that Rhys would not have approved - so they took over the music system. Sublime and Bob Marley played instead. Tuesday, 3rd of June 2003, 10:00 am. We were honored to have Father Houston conduct a funeral service at the Rose of Lima Church, in Northborough at 10:00 am. on Tuesday the 3rd of June 2003. Rhys' 87 year old gradmother Emily, his 13 year old brother Anthony and his mom and dad were sitting next to our Rhys during this service. We told the kids not to worry if they had never been in a church before, explaining that it's actually a kid friendly place and you just follow along wtih everyone else. The church seats about 640 people.  It was packed with people standing outside. Rhys would have loved the stained glass. Funeral Services. Tuesday, the 2nd of June 2003 was the second worst day of our lives. It started long before we arrived at the funeral home at nine o’clock. We placed more things in with our Rhys, a lock of hair, a pair of special drumsticks, some spare guitar strings and a single dollar bill, a loan from his brother. Rhys would have laughed to see his friends struggle to lift the solid copper casket. It took ten of them. We arrived at Father Houston’s lovely church at ten. Mr. Hancin smiled as he remembered Rhys. He remembered asking Rhys to compose a song, expecting him to quietly go off somewhere and do it. Instead he talked about how Rhys had fetched his guitar and sat in the corridor outside the art room singing and playing at full volume – with students all smiling as they passed Rhys being Rhys. He talked of Rhys wanting to make the biggest coiled pot ever made in the school - he measured the kiln and made a pot that only just fit by an eighth of an inch in all dimensions. Students continue to try and squeeze another 1/16th of an inch from the kiln and if they had done so, Rhys would have been the first to smile and say “Purr-fect”. George shared stories of the Rhys he was told about before he knew him. Of Rhys apologizing for an outburst with just a smile. Of Rhys in Italy going sightseeing dressed in his dark suit with a dazzling white shirt. Looking for all the world as you would expect a tall dark and handsome Italian artist to look. Tom O’Connor had the inner strength to fight through every word in his tear drenched eulogy. He talked of first meeting Rhys when his son Ryan and he were in camp one summer – so long ago, and Rhys asked to stop at a book store to buy something light to read – he bought War and Peace – he was fourteen. Tom spoke to the hundreds of children crammed into the Church. Just having Rhys there spoke just as loudly to them as they all watched us unfurl a simple cloth over Rhys anointed casket. Rhys cousin Jayne obtains her Ph.D. in genetics next month, she and Rhys were going to cruise the coffee shops and great art of Europe all summer to celebrate their joint graduation. Jayne gave the reading about wisdom in her gentle Welsh lilt. The night before, when he showed me his eulogy, I told Matt Hain to be strong when he talked – he replied “It’s OK, Mr. Jenkins, Rhys will be right there with me” Matt talked about how Rhys favorite response to “would you like to….” Was always “Purr-fect”. He will always be Purr-fect. June Chapin has known Rhys since 1st grade. She was grace and gentleness itself delivering her eulogy. She ended with a little poem that she wrote.  Her eulogy and poem are right after this. Rhys would have liked that. Joey read the second reading. He is a minister with five lovely children and the most serene wife you can imagine - she’s Rhys cousin Wendy, who has loved Rhys all of his life and looked so sad. When we first met Father Houston last Saturday, I explained that this would be Rhys first visit to a church – he smiled and said “then we shall have a full Catholic service for him” that just begins to tell you what a wonderful man he is, and how far the Catholic church has evolved. He proudly showed us his church, he pointed out the baptismal font that you all heard trickling water coming from. He winked when he said that to the untrained eye it looked like a thirty thousand dollar Jacuzzi. Sometimes when we speak, we know when we are exceptional. Father Houston was exceptional on Tuesday. He talked about the chat he had with the teenagers at our house, he weaved the mountain of shoes inside our front door into his stories, he talked about caring, he told stories, he brought Nobel Peace prize winning Eli Wizel into the room. He wondered aloud about the conversations that Rhys and God would have - artist to artist. You could feel his gentleness, and as he told us on Saturday, “all tears are good tears”, that’s why we wept with pride for our Rhys. Will Chapin played “Yesterday” following communion on Rhys’ acoustic guitar as a tribute to his forever gone friend, I will always see Will when I hum this pretty song that Rhys loved. Prayers were said for Rhys in the great St Paul’s Cathedral in London on Tuesday, and friends have arranged for prayers to be said for the next hundred days at a monastery. Rhys would have liked that too. The wonderful funeral director Tom Hays dashed in front of us as we were leaving the church to remove “the ghouls” from the media who were there – he did it with the same grace and firmness that we saw in Tom all week. Tom was a tower of strength from when we first met him on the Friday after making the decision to bring our Rhys back to Northborough. He led the children in singing the lords prayer to let them know it was time to leave the wake, he made countless phone calls. Everyone spoke of how things ran so flawlessly – it was Tom. We left Northborough to take our Rhys to Dartmouth. Dartmouth is where we will live and our Rhys will be less than a mile from us. The location is about as perfect as you can imagine. We first met Pastor Steve and his lovely wife Sarah on the Saturday. We sat in their home and just talked for a couple of hours. I have not met many spiritual men that radiate kindness and gentleness as deeply as it shines from this young man. We both left Dartmouth feeling so much better than when we arrived there. He showed us his little church. I noticed that it needs a coat of paint – we will fix that. I noticed that it needs new shingles – we will fix that. I noticed that they had a dialup connection to the Internet – we will fix that. If only we could fix our Rhys as easily. Pastor Steve showed us where Rhys would be, and Sarah asked if we would like her to play the harp at the graveside. When the funeral procession left Northborough, Rhys had a police escort with it’s lights flashing in front of him – we are honored that the Northborough police department did this for our Rhys – he had attended a police training camp in Northborough a few years earlier. At the end of the training when he graduated, he asked if it meant that his diploma could speed him through town when he got his license – he was told “No, it means that we will hold you to a higher standard than all other teenagers” – he never forgot that. When we arrived in Dartmouth we were greeted by a police escort in front of, and behind the convoy. Three officers on vintage Harleys formed a triangle in front of Rhys as we drove slowly through town. We took the convoy through the middle of Padanaram, the village that sits at a bridge crossing the harbor. We did this so that the kids could feel the serenity of the ocean. So that they would see that Rhys would rest alongside some of mother natures finest art. Sarah played “Norwegian Wood” by the Beatles on her harp. Rhys had been teaching it to himself on the piano. He could listen to music and write it out in pen and ink as though it came from a music store – his music scores are art. Pastor Steve gave our Rhys a beautiful farewell and the kids all went into the tiny church to say a little prayer and eat some of the best sandwiches any of us have ever eaten – they were just “Purr-fect”. We returned to Northborough to find our whole house full of kids, which we have always loved to see. A group of kids started bringing things to the piano. One brought Rhys’ acoustic guitar, one brought his didgeridoo another brought his bongo and within minutes the house was filled with music as the kids jammed for hours – we felt privileged to be there sharing their sorrow. When they dug our Rhys’ grave, they found a large boulder that they were able to remove. It will be inscribed with a few words and it will sit in the quiet garden of our new house – along with an eternal flame. It will probably say "Rhys Thoughtfull Spot" - it will be his third and last. Come on down next year and toast a marshmallow for Rhys on his eternal flame – they will taste – Purr-fect the same way that our Rhys was. Nos Dah. June Chapin’s Eulogy and Poem Thank you, June, for such lovely and expressive words.   As I lay awake hour after hour on the night of the day that Rhys left us, all I could think was how lucky we all are to have known someone who was so gentle, so talented, so beautifully in tune with a visual world that most of the rest of us don’t see.  When I look at a tree or a rock, I see a tree or a rock…..Rhys saw something more ethereal, more refined, and more in need of his attention.  His view of the world was in some way different…it makes him who he is…and always will be… to me.    I can’t even begin to tell you what a loss his death has been to his family and friends….I don’t need to tell you….you are all here. But his passing is also a loss to the rest of the world who will never get to know him.  I truly believe he would have made his mark on the world of art if life had given him the chance.   It grieves us all to have to say good-by to someone so dear.  I keep wishing Rhys’s parents could turn the clock back, chain him to a chair, and say, “No, you can’t go out with your friends tonight.”  But that doesn’t happen in the world of parenthood because you can’t keep someone chained forever.  As parents, we hope and pray that our children will be safe….but there are no assurances that they will be.   This is probably the only opportunity that I will have to speak to so many young people about the decisions you make and the outcomes of those decisions….so I am going to take it.   Please understand….. all of you…… that parents can only do so much to keep you safe from harm.  After that, you yourselves need to think carefully about whether the things you do….the decisions you make…..   might bring harm to you or someone else.  You all have discovered this in the worst way possible….you have lost a dear friend and Rhys has lost his entire future.     That being said, I would like to read a poem for Rhys…….   RHYS    We never thought we would see the day Of Rhys’ leaving……. passing away.   A child not here, a loved one gone, We ask ourselves how do we go on……. without him   And though our pain now seems so strong Our memories of him will be there long   His quiet smile, his thoughtful gaze His soft brown eyes… they seem to have raised…. a question.   What could I have been?  What will I be? ……………That question has an answer for me!    He’ll be a butterfly light on the breeze And when that breeze ruffles leaves in the trees ….it’s Rhys.   He’ll be the ripples on pond water green Created by tears of his classmates who dream …..it’s Rhys.   He’ll be a painter’s palate…..colors so bright And from that palate flows color and light .….. it’s Rhys.   He’ll be a ball of clay….. perfectly thrown Molded by hands …… a potter’s ……. his own ……it’s Rhys.   He’ll be a sunset… purple and gold, Which we all will enjoy as we grow old …..it’s Rhys.    He will be all that might have been Because our hearts will carry Rhys……. within   And he’ll let us see the world come alive With color, and beauty through his artists eyes …….That’s Rhys.     [Written with love by,  June Chapin] Right after the service, Rhys was taken to the ocean for eternity. He was buried in a cemetery at a tiny Quaker church - "Smith Neck Friends Meeting" in South Dartmouth MA that was established in 1699. There was a graveside service conducted by Minister Steven Terrell for Rhys' friends and family. The service started at about 2:00 pm. The picture shows the actual size of the cemetery so you will never have a hard time finding Rhys in the weeks, months and years to come. He is in the top right corner of the graveyard. There was a police officer directing traffic and the field next to the meeting house was opened for parking. The graveside ceremony lasted about 20 minutes and refreshments and food were available in the meeting house, Minister Steve's wife Sarah played a song for Rhys on her harp at the grave. Please take a moment to say a prayer for our Rhys in this wonderful church when you stop by to visit. The ocean is less than a minute from Rhys' grave, so many of the the high school seniors went on to the ocean to reflect on Rhys, and to reflect on the journey that they are about to undertake after graduation. Rhys will always be with you when you look at the ocean. About a mile past the meeting house is Round Hill Beach. If you back track from the church along Smith Neck road, you will come to a T junction with the harbor on your right. If you turn left at this junction and continue going up Gulf Road you will see the new home that we are constructing which is a renovation of a barn at 307 Gulf Road. (There is a sign that Reads "MastHead" The building at the front was to have been an art studio to entice Rhys to come back home after University.  It will still become an Art Studio. Feel free to drive into the Barn project and think of Rhys in what would have been a special place. You can see more of the Barn at www.masthead.biz It takes about an hour and a quarter to get to Dartmouth from Northborough. This is the website for Rhys resting place. http://www.snfm.org Directions to Dartmouth Take Route 495 South to the exit for Route 24 South. Take 24 South to exit 12 – 140 South. Take140 South all the way to the end. At Route 6, Take a right onto Route 6 towards Dartmouth At the next set of traffic lights take a left onto Slocum Road Stay on Slocum Road until you see Elm Street (There is a Police Station on your right, across from Elm Street) About 2 miles, at the second stop take a right onto Bridge Street Go over the Bridge and take the first left onto Smith Neck Road Go about 2-3 miles until you get to Rock-O-Dundee Road Smith Neck Friends Meeting House is on your left at the corner of Smith Neck and Rock-O-Dundee Road. Immediately after the service in Northborough, Rhys friends are all welcome at our house at 111 Bartlett Street in Northborough - just down from the high school. We have had over 100 cars at our house for Rhys' "gatherings" in the past, so you all know where to park. The new road that they are building next to our house is going to be called "Jenkins Drive".    Almost every kid in the senior year has been at our house, so you all know where it is. There will be food and soda and the group that goes to Dartmouth will be coming back to the house after the ceremony in Dartmouth so that we can all remember Rhys and grieve for him. When you pass through Rhys' room, reflect on the frailty of human life. None of us are immortal, not even high school seniors, and as I said at the Vigil, friends tell friends to slow down, friends hide car keys, friends designate themselves as drivers.  And friends will say "remember Rhys" when they tell someone to slow down, that will be the best thing any of you can do for our Rhys.